I'm only human

Greetings world!!!

The past two months have been awfully hard for me kicking off the new year 2015!
To start the year off on January 1st my relationship ended, I have not been able to really get over that hard time in my life, he was a great guy just not the guy for me.

I felt that we really did love each other we just were not the right person for each other.

As if that wasn't enough to go through I also injured myself working out. It's a very common injury that people get at my age, from exercise so for a few weeks I needed to wear a boot to help with the pain for walking.
That experience is something that I could never really describe other than being in bed one night and having the feeling of a Charlie horse type pain in my left calf. I wear the boot for two weeks because I had already been suffering for a week prior to receiving the boot.

On top of all of that I had made a huge mistake, the title of this is I'm only human. I was experiencing something I never thought I would ever experience and having experience the experience I don't ever wish it upon anyone ever!
I have been going through the motions and thoughts of would've, should've, could've, if only.
I know that is not a place to be I know for sure for me it just drags me down and my self-esteem goes down the drain with it.

As a result of going through all of these experiences in the past two months feels a lot longer by the way. I have gained weight and have lost a lot of my will to keep on going through this journey called life, ( With that said something you should know about me for those of you who don't is I am not suicidal never have been never will be.) so when I say I've lost the will to keep going, I mean I am just moving through each and every day sleeping most of the time sitting on the couch not out enjoying life like I normally am. One thing I know about myself is I need a lot of me time by that I mean I have to be able to enjoy nature by myself and with the dogs as well as exercise and meditate.

The past 2 months have been really hard for me to show up or just get out of bed a lot of days. Another thing I have learned about myself is that I turn to food and I find that I am always hungry when I am in this place of woes me.

I still try to come across as an upbeat happy go lucky person to the world but deep down inside I know that is just not where I am at right now. We all have good days & bad days sometimes.

I wanted to share this with you so you could understand where I'm coming from.

Cheers to health and happiness!!!
Here is to A new beginning a new chapter as March approaches.